July 2

My life can get pretty sweet. It is loneliness that kills me. God's voice is strong - yesterday I needed to run and saw the most beautiful sunset except maybe that time at the Great Sand Dunes.

The water was out, leaving a smooth pool of crystal beams, sparkling live light. Peachy orange and deeper autumn pumpkin, creamy white blaring light, a deep blue and purple storm cloud of infinite folds and billows - almost close enough to touch. The borders of the sky were lined with white and pale blue towered clouds - such that I could imagine I was in a valley - in Crested Butte again.

Here I am - a tiny human swimming in God's infinite wilderness - this is the one thing always good in the world - my soul enters into the cool silken water, it runs with the wings of my sneakers...it takes off these worldy runways and flies, flies everywhere, sees everything, is all consumed and consuming.

I must say: I need to go pray. I am a pretty fanatic God-ist.

Falling asleep to the rain - and the milky way almost pressing on my eyes from the deep saturated sky. Waking up and eating a breakfast of: honey, village bread, dried fruit, and a coconut...of which I drank the milk last night in insomnia. My yard is sprouting alive - and I water my mangoes and mboum trees with brown rain from my roof (which is also sprouting bissap.) Learning is always any open, and freedom - sometimes the purest freedom -to write and run and live only by my limits (inside my hut) and know who I am.