It was Brett who told me "there has to be a lot of time in between, for waiting." Waiting for the next step. Waiting for God to tell you __________. He can't be saying all the time go, go, go!" But the times of frantic ideallic desperate inspiration are gone. It seems so odd to me that there was a time where I asked Chris "What does it mean to be a good volunteer?" Where I was confident listing around in a sac dress.
The time has come where my heart is completely calm, at rest. All I want is to be a normal person. And what does that result in? A lot of sitting around doing nothing. ...Unless I can get on the trail.
Maybe thats what this Wer U Koor should be about. Another head-against-the-yolk grappling with...all of life.
Wer U Koor is for waiting. Lowering the frequency waves. Sitting, listening, at least I know it shouldn't be about sitting around pissed because I cannot eat. If I continue to fast, it has to be because I choose to.
I am telement crushed that my chicken project was not funded, Too embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed to tell anyone but Laity. Paralyzed to think of the next step. It was all El Hadj's fault and I never want to see him again.
...Where do I go from now? I am so sick of planting trees and pumping up the environment. It seems pointless without Fall here.
3 summer camps and I'm having the best time of my life. Now I am a volunteer of fun.
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