March 6 "And Now Its Time for Boring, Repetative Talk. Again. And yes, its navel gazing, more perhaps. It makes me annoyed, too.

What, how would I frame this past weekend's moments of social anxiety and final resolution to peace of soul, for the moment?
And where does "yourself" come from? From the faculty of faith, thank you, Matt Gates. God writes it on you, continuously, from moment to moment. "You" are the book he has written. (Can you point to, within the book, where "the book" is? I say no. It is a working, flowing, active, interrelated self.)
Poor __, when I scared her with the dark shadow that ran across my hazel green-flecked eyes when I remembered: hospital corners.
hanging out in the church and the school lot in the snow in my socks --
I am so happy to be free of that. In these months I feel alive in a sense that I have never felt before. I can hold people's gaze for longer without that shift of guilt, that shift of don't see me.
If I trace backwards from the present, have I been lazy/scared just in general, and in relation to self awareness and discovery? Is this 6-7 year noppelu something to be ashamed of or was it necessary? Thank you, __, for making me feel -wither way, it is tolerable, surmountable.